I used to have this really bad dream that my husband found a younger, thinner, more impressive women and left me for this upgraded model. It was a reoccurring dream that was reeking havoc on my relationship. Not only was I angry and hurt while I was dreaming, I got up and was angry at my husband. He got so tired of me thinking that my dreams were somehow my brain’s subconscious way of telling me he was actually cheating, he finally said to me, “If you keep accusing me of cheating, I’m actually going to start doing it.”
I was out of control with my accusations until I learned something at an NLP workshop.
“I can change my dreams?” I said astonished at the mere possibility. The trainer was talking about having enough conscious awareness during the unconscious process of dreaming to flip the bad dream on its head and get the happy ending.
“How do I change my dreams?” I asked.
“What do you want instead?” The trainer replied.
“Well, I want to change my dream.” I thought I made that clear before but obviously not.
“No,” she said. “What do you want instead of what is happening in the bad dream?”
“I don’t want my husband to cheat on me and leave me for a younger model”.
“Then ask yourself in the dream that very question. What do I want instead? When you ask that question, your brain will start planning the solution to the question and leave the bad dream behind. It is a clever way to guide your own mind even when you are sleeping.”
I really didn’t think it was possible to ask yourself questions when you were dreaming but I had nothing to lose so I gave it a shot. The very next time I was struggling in my dream with my husband cheating on me, I asked myself, “What do I want instead”. Immediately the dream changed. My husband did end up leaving me for the new girlfriend and she got fat and ugly. My business was transformed overnight with the influx of the money I invested from the divorce settlement. I was sipping champagne on a yacht when I woke up.
Wow! That was so much better! Each time the bad dream of my husband cheating on me and leaving me came up, I asked, “What do I want instead” earlier and earlier in the dream. Then one day, they just stopped. I haven’t had the dream in years and I believe full-heartedly that it was because I kept asking myself “What do I want instead?”
What I wanted was to stop the dream completely. I love NLP and I love that I’m still happily married and sleeping soundly.